Challenges I am Facing Right Now

facing pressing challenges right now

Facing challenges right now

 

Challenges I am facing right now have lead me to participate in Natalie Sisson’s 10 Day Blog Challenge. I love blogging. I have realised that creative writing is one of my passions. I have been out of sorts recently, and I believe this challenge will help me to find my rhythm and reason again.

Day One Challenge is to name 2-3 of my biggest challenges that I am facing right now, why they are coming up for me, and any possible solutions I could identify.

Immediately I name my ‘Broken Wing’, the fracture I sustained to my left shoulder joint. Physically, every action is taking longer as I am slowly regaining function of my left arm. I tire more easily, and find my length of mental focus is also affected. I don’t feel quite so ‘driven’ as I did before my fall. I am truly grateful for the space the recovery time has given me – time to reflect on the path I was walking, and how I might want to change course. I see this as the perfect time to reassess my priorities and vision regarding my HeartFire Therapy Practice and my spiritual orientation.

To this end, I am focusing on regaining whole body health – eating well, exercising, resting, meditating and loving myself.

My second most pressing challenge is feeling overwhelmed by all the business models and business tools ‘out there’. In the past I have spent thousands of dollars and thousands of hours completing online courses on all sorts of topics that interested me, in the hope of finding the elusive one that would bring me closer to my dream of being self-employed and financially independent. While I have learnt heaps of interesting stuff, I struggle to bring it all together cohesively.

In the course of my research into the solution to my overwhelm, I have learnt that I need to ask for help, that there is no shame in acknowledging that I am floundering. I have consulted with a number of different coaches, and am learning to accept jewels of wisdom where I find them.  So many styles of coaching, so many personality types. I realise that I need to find a Tribe where I am accepted and Celebrated, where I can flourish and share my talents and gifts.  I am unique, I create my own style.

My third most pressing challenge is prioritising my time. I am so easily distracted by the chores and daily habits that I have created. It is true that living alone creates a certain freedom from ‘have-to-do activities’, yet I am the one who is responsible for keeping my home the Sanctuary I love to live in.  I love gardening, pottering at home, writing, reading, craft work……. I lose track of time, and often put grunty things off in favour of doing easier more enjoyable activities.

Why this challenge comes up for me now, is to bring me to a point of focus. How serious am I really about shining my light, about taking my gifts and talents to those who would receive them? How serious am I really about my HeartFire Business? What is truly holding me back? What would it take to create and hold my Focus?

I am working on this one, planning my next steps.

What challenges are you facing now – and would you be prepared to share them?

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The Wounded Healer

 

Challenges and Blessings and time to make some changes

Challenges and Blessings – time to make some changes

 

Yes, I know – it’s been a while since I wrote. Life has brought me challenges and many Blessings too. Rewind to the end of January when I was un-partnered and suddenly single. The Wounded Healer now has the perfect opportunity to take stock of her life, to make some long overdue changes.

The first life changing event was the decision to downsize and to move into a home that better suited my needs. A fresh start with no stagnant energy lingering in any corners. I had previously strongly resisted this idea, as I felt so attached to all my efforts that had created the tranquil space and beautiful garden. This time it was so different. I felt ready to find a space that was uniquely ‘me’, and would provide the perfect space for my Acupuncture Treatment Room / Sanctuary.

That decision turned out to be the easiest first step – the selling part took much longer. My determination to follow through was tested time and again. Months of weekly Open Homes followed and at times I felt so despondent that I was ready to quit. Somehow, I knew deep down that my new Home was waiting, and that I was to trust that all was indeed well.

And so it was. At the end of June my house finally sold, and on a most auspicious day in July I was declared the owner of my new home. It is perfect for me. Smaller yet spacious, with an established garden and a Sanctuary for my work. My happiness knows no bounds!

Then life became even more interesting. Three weeks after moving in, I fell while out running along the beach track. I remember walking home pleading with the Universe that nothing was broken! I had shattered my left shoulder joint, which required a bone graft, pinning and plating. Hmm. I did NOT see that coming.

In the weeks since then I have had time to reflect on so many areas of my life. Isn’t it amazing how such an event can bring us to reflect on what is meaningful, what serves us, and where we wish to focus our energy?

I feel a deep joy sitting here writing at my computer. It has been too long. I have much to share, and I realise that sharing is one of my passions. I am going to follow my passion more often. I hope you will join me.

How will you share your passion with your world? I would love you to share with me!

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Preventing Alzheimer’s Disease – A Personal Responsibility

Preventing Alzheimer's by exercising daily

Preventing Alzheimer’s – exercising daily

 

 

When did you last attend a presentation where the speaker was humorous, engaging and an expert in his field?

Prof Yoram Barak was invited by Alzheimers Canterbury to present a talk recently at the South Christchurch Library. I am so glad I went!

His address was titled ‘Your Mind Matters – Here’s How To Stay Sharp… Dementia Beyond Disease’.

From the notes I jotted down, I thought you may find the following insights and recommendations most helpful. Prof Yoram Barak is an expert in the field of Alzheimer’s and has also published a book:

Preventing Alzheimer’s  Disease – A Personal Responsibility: by Prof Yoram Barak

He explained that there are always multiple factors causing any disease – Alzheimer’s is a multifactorial disorder. Prevention plus treatment form an integrative practice.

Preventative Treatment / Medicine is the practice of managing risk vs protective factors. You don’t have to know exactly how to cure something if you can prevent the development of the risk factors.

Known Risk Factors for Alzheimer’s Disease include:

  • Obesity
  • Carotid artery narrowing
  • Low educational achievement
  • Hyper-homocysteine (in food)
  • Depression
  • Hypertension
  • Frailty
  • Current smoking
  • Type 2 diabetes

Protective Factors include:

  • Learning to play a musical instrument
  • Learning a new language
  • Learning how to listen to classical music
  • Hypertensive drugs that cause modulation of renin-angiotensin
  • Nutrition / diet / brain food. Broadly following The Mediterranean Diet with-
  1. Olive Oil 4 Tablespoons/day
  2. Walnuts and hazelnuts 30g on alternate days
  3. 1 glass of RED wine with a meal
  4. NO RED meat, soda or soft drinks
  5. NO commercial baking or potatoes
  • Cognitive Engagement:
  1. Get Zen – meditate for ½ hour daily (refer Gary Kabat Zinn on Mindfulness)
  2. Physical Exercise – daily for 30-45 minutes
  3. Loneliness – volunteer, maintain and cultivate friendships
  4. Purpose In Life – explore, grow.

Prof Barak explained that we don’t know why people develop dementia, and that there is no cure to date. As we do know the main risk factors, prevention becomes a personal responsibility.  The neurones / grey cells in the brain are responsible for executive functioning. All activities that enhance Neurogenesis are encouraged. These include:

Get Quality Rest: It is essential to have uninterrupted sleep for 6-8 hours per night. Short term memory storage occurs during the day, and during sleep these memories are moved into long term memory and consolidated.

Take The Blues Seriously: Depression reduces cognitive functioning, and is experienced by 17-22% of people, or 1 in 5 people. During episodes of depression the hippocampus, which creates memories, atrophies and memory is therefore reduced. It can take 3 years for the Hippocampus to regenerate.

Manage Stress: Increased levels of cortisol which are produced during stress are neurotoxic. This allows increased levels of calcium through the tissue membranes. The neurones become overloaded and fire too rapidly, which kills the neurones. People exposed to prolonged trauma, such as war veterans, have 3x greater risk.

Play: Playfulness and playing enjoyable games increases brain volume in the regions that control memory and spatial thinking.

Drink Your Coffee: Polyphenals in coffee are antioxidants, and protect the hippocampus and brain cortex. Dry brain material contains 70% fat molecules. When oxygen clumps around the fat cells, oxidation occurs, which is detrimental to the tissues – coffee helps prevent this. 3-5 cups a day for women, and 2-3 cups a day for men is recommended.

Brush Up: Dental hygiene has been linked to improved memory, though the exact cause is unknown. It has been found that memory is enhanced in people who still have their natural teeth.

Monitor Your Hearing: Cognitive decline progresses 30-40% faster for people with hearing loss.

Avoid Smoking: The brain cortex thins with age, and smoking hastens the thinning.

Avoid Alcohol/Hard Spirits: Alcohol is known to kill brain cells and thereby reduce memory.

All in all, these are recommendations that all health practitioners are promoting. How many of them do you take personal responsibility for?

Food for thought – Food for our brains!

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Keeping Faith In The Midst Of Chaos

Keeping Faith In The Midst Of Chaos

Keeping Faith In The Midst Of Chaos

 

Will this time of uncertainty ever end? How can I keep Faith in the midst of Chaos?

The onset seemed insidious. Not like the proverbial bolt of lightning from the heavens. Looking back, I can recognise sign posts that all was not as it seemed. I didn’t recognise them as the indicators that life as I knew it was in the process of being realigned.

Not that I believed I was out of alignment. Hmm. Funny how we can be so steadfast, so intent on making what we believe our reality.

All is not lost, and I feel much more has been found, in this process.

My life-long quest has been to serve as a Healer, a Light-Energy Worker. Since being physically reunited with my Spiritual Family, The Emissaries of Divine Light, through contact with Riverdell Spiritual Centre in Gawler SA, I have found my true North. The joy and comfort of homecoming is indescribable. And always, there is more……..

Over the following months events transpired to remove me from a very toxic work environment, and I started to meet and mix with some beautiful and interesting people more in line with my own views and aspirations. I also travelled to Riverdell twice to participate in residential seminars. My world, both Inner and outer, were being shaped and transformed. I welcomed this process with my whole heart and being.

When we become realigned inside, it reflects in all we say and do, and our outer world moves to mirror our inner world. The old must fall away, die, in order for the new to be born, to come fully into being. Much of my ‘old world’ started dying.

My partner un-partnered me. He could not relate to my dedication to my Inner Spirit, my Spiritual Family and my quest to live in my authentic power. While I initially felt bereft, I know now that he has released me in the kindest possible way to further my quest.

I started to review all aspects of my life, with the help of an Intuitive Coach. Yes! I finally realised and accepted that I needed help, and asked for it. I have been so self-sufficient out of necessity and early programming, I had forgotten how to ask for, and receive help.

I have wept tears of joy and relief when I recognised some of the limiting beliefs and patterns that I had embedded into my psyche from a tender age, when I needed those to survive. They no longer serve me. They can ‘die’, to be replaced by the knowledge that I am powerful in my own right, that as a Fragment of Pure Source Energy, I can direct my Life through Love.

I also learned how to release those who have treated me with anything less than Love, or with acts aligned purely to serve their own agendas. Release with Love, with full Blessing, and move forwards with purpose and the knowledge that I am not directed by any other person’s agendas or controls. How liberating!

So, why am I now experiencing my period of chaos?

I am examining my area of ‘work’, wondering why I have struggled to get any lift-off with my healing practice business, physical and internet based. A wise friend offered me such an Insight Jewel – “what if your plans are not on your Path?”

What if?

Which has brought me to embark on re-defining what my Purpose for my business truly is, and how it aligns with my Spiritual Purpose.

This has also prompted the decision to downsize my home, and relocate to a more compact home. I have found it so challenging believing that I have had no control over the physical events required in the process. Why has it taken so long for this beautiful home to attract a family to shelter within its peaceful walls? Is it something I have yet still to do? Have I paid too much attention to detail each open home, wanting / needing prospective buyers to relieve me of my financial burden? Have I lodged too many ‘requirements’ for the sale – right price, right people, right timing (NOW!), right new home to move into.

Last night, a beautiful insight came to me. All Is Well. Relax into the Love of Source Energy. You will recognise ‘right’ as it unfolds. Just as Life declares itself, so does Love, and my Path is unfolding before me.

Can I step out confidently, powered by Love, to greet each moment as it unfolds? For me, that is the only path that leads out of the Chaos of Creation.

How have you kept your Faith during your own Chaos of creation events?

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Create a New Vision of Life

 

thought shifting helps us to create a new vision of life.

Thought Shifting – Create a New Vision of Life

I find Dr Norm Shealy a great source of inspiration and information especially regarding creating a new vision of Life. (www.normshealy.com). In a recent newsletter, he posted this article by Janice Paul MA, and I would love to share it with you.

SHATTER NEGATIVITY WITH A THOUGHT-PART II 

CREATES A NEW VISION OF LIFE

By thought shifting to the greater good of others is how the negative energy pathway of the world will start to change. The thought intention for the highest good of others creates a transfer of positive energy that will radiate and bounce back off of the highest good action, which will then satisfy the individual’s need.

It is the realization that others’ needs are truly our own needs. It is the oneness concept.

If a person decides to accept this change in their thought process the end result will be a new vision of life.

Once the decision is made to change the thought process to the greater good then it is as if a giant book opens up and all instructions, directions, wisdom and answers are given to all. All knowledge becomes available. Advanced knowledge that has never been known before becomes available. It is knowledge based upon an inner opening of the mind. A blocked off portion of the mind that has never been known before. It is an unveiling of a blocked off cave. A cave within the mind that has been unknown. It is a cave of knowledge that becomes available to all.

The switch in the thought process is what opens the door to this cave of knowledge.

It is creating a world in which positive energy, wisdom and knowledge buffer the negativity. Through the buffering there will be a reduction in all that is created by negative energy. All negative energy that is filled and made up of self- need fulfillment will be deflated. In the deflation process, there will be more positive changes that will fuel individual growth in all forms.

A thriving will start to be seen in all beings. A thriving in the land, air, water – all that is impacted by energy. It is as if there will be a comfort blanket of positive energy around all beings. It will serve as a shield against negative energy.

The comfort blanket will also serve as a conductor that will pull more positive energy inside of the blanket. This comfort blanket of positive energy builds and builds, continues to push against each other, expanding and expanding until the negative energy is pushed out of the way. It also helps to increase the vibrational level of the world.

Sound in the world will change. There will be a lessening of loud, hurtful sounds and an increase in soft, peaceful sounds. Sounds that help to heal rather than harm. Soft sounds have healing ability beyond what we currently know. The soft sound will enter the body of any being and work towards desensitizing the nerve endings so that the body and mind will relax.

Vision of the individual will also change. The input and output of positive energy through vision will be healing. Positive energy attaches to the eye and acts as a buffer from negative energy entering in this way.

Janice Paul, MA  janicepaulb@gmail.com

I am inspired to shift my thought processes. What would it take for me to be in the energy of Thought Changing?

 

 

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Changes – How Do We Deal With Them?

Dealing With Change Gracefully

Dealing With Change Gracefully

 

How does one navigate life changes gracefully?

I have come to ask myself this question after a particularly challenging 12 months. I had always assumed that my life would tick along quite nicely once I reached my fifties, and I am constantly amazed at how many challenges I continue to face.

Of course, we could be truly optimistic, and call these challenges ‘opportunities’ – opportunities for growth, for learning new things, for overcoming adversity. Forward movement also proves to us that we are alive, that we are capable of thought and action.

Life changes affect us in different ways. At the time, it may seem that we would never recover from the enormity of the event, our thoughts and feelings about what has transpired and how we were affected. With some time and space to reflect, there is always something lost, something gained.

When I left my previous job after 7 ½ years I could not imagine life outside of the confines of that institution. While I missed my close friends there, I soon came to value the diverse and broad thinking business community that makes up ‘the rest of the workers’. I ‘lost’ the security of a permanent position in a dead end job, yet gained the freedom to express myself and be valued for my work and aspirations.

My close relationships have not escaped the change cycles either. Perhaps we are more prepared for ages and stages related changes, yet sometimes those come sooner than expected. Dementia can rob us of years of communication with a close family member – it starts slowly yet transforms your loved one before your eyes. Younger family members may move in their own orbits, and over time those relationships also have the capacity to slide into nothingness if we don’t nurture and value them. People I thought would be with me forever are slipping away, consciously or unconsciously. Do you ever truly ‘lose’ those connections with Dear Ones?

People change. When large life events happen, we respond in our own unique ways. Sometimes this requires that we change perspective, we gain insight, we transform from the inside out. It is no surprise, then, that we may no longer ‘fit’ in our Love Relationships. That also happened to me. My partner and I separated. I ‘lost’ my best friend, my confidante, my lover. In turn, I ‘found’ my Inner Voice. I reconnected to my deepest beliefs and called on my inner reserves. I found that I really like Me.

Which brings me back to my original question – How does one navigate life changes  gracefully – especially when you feel lost, insecure, alone, sad or downright angry?

I realised that I needed to ask for help, something that was so difficult for me to acknowledge. I called on trusted friends for inspiration and guidance. I worked to maintain great physical health. And I worked with a coach to change my mind-set. I am still navigating monumental changes. I am also learning to dance gracefully through all the areas of my life. It is a work in progress, full of changes, and now it feels more expectantly pleasing than daunting.

Do you recognise similar themes happening in your experience?

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Stand Up – Be Moved

Movement is crucial for our existence! This guest post highlights movement in our work environment. This could be in a corporate environment, and also our home office. Stand up and be moved!

standing desks allow movement at work

Stand up – Be Moved!

 

Sit to stand desks have become the latest thing to have in the modern office. They are not, however, the silver bullet for everyone. As with any product it is about the end user being educated as to why and how they work better for us as well as understanding what you should be looking for when investigating the sit to stand desk market.

 

There are two reasons why such desks work.

  1. Fundamentally humans should not sit all day – we are not designed for it and it is not good for us. More importantly, we shouldn’t be staying in one position for too long – movement is key. Varying your position between sitting and standing on a regular basis brings some movement to your working environment.
  1. Secondly, human proportions/measurements vary tremendously. The desk height norm of 720mm will not, therefore, suit everyone. In fact, from a survey undertaken by Ergostyle this standard height of 720mm suits very few – 90% of the surveyed people have a sitting elbow height of between 590 and 710mm. Additionally the standing height of some desks do not suit everybody. It is important that the height range of a desk is considered and ideally matched to the people using it.

Calculate your individual ideal height range as follows:

  1. The desk height when sitting should be one finger width (approximately 2cm) below your elbow when sitting correctly in a height adjustable chair (feet flat on the floor and a 90 degree angle between the lower and upper leg)
  1. The desk height when standing should again be one finger below your elbow when you are standing. The space allowed for below your elbow (when shoulders are relaxed) allows for your arms to swing easily over a keyboard without raising your shoulders.

Besides height, the other crucial consideration for a desk is the lift capacity. This not only affects directly the amount of weight the desk has been designed to take but also affects the ease with which the desk copes with the weight and thus the life of the lifting mechanism. A desk which has to carry a weight close to its capacity does not last as long as one where the weight easily falls within its capacity.

Additional features to look for in a sit to stand desk are its

  • Stability (how stable is the desk at its greatest height?)
  • Is the height displayed? (best practice under AS/NZS442:1997)
  • Is the control programmable or does it integrate with a computer?
  • Is cable management provided?

And don’t forget to stand up to be moved!

by Jacqui Barnes  www.ergostyle.co.nz

 

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Out Of The Box using Creative Thinking

Creative Thinking moves us out of the box we have become stuck in.

Move Out of the Box using Creative Thinking

Would you like to step Out of the Box you feel confined in?

I meet once a month, via a conference call, with a group of like-minded friends for The Creative Field Project which is:

  • A global network of people committed to the evolution of consciousness.
  • A field of collective awareness of the transforming, healing spirit of Love which is inherent to all people.
  • A context for engaging with other people in our individual awakening, learning and service.

The program is available to anyone, anywhere in the world, regardless of nationality, language, religion or culture. Small groups of about seven people meet monthly to assist with personal and collective breakthroughs that lead to new awareness and a new basis for service in the world. Groups meet in person, via phone or Skype.

At the end of November 2010 I was invited to participate in one such group. I accepted.

It changed my life!

Each month we are sent some material to consider before we meet. Each group has a Facilitator who hosts the meeting, and we are invited to follow a process to reflect on various aspects of the material and our individual responses.

Recently, a new approach was set in motion – we were invited to choose an area or dynamic in our lives where we wanted to effect changes, or shine some light on. We were to be spending four months working on a process which first identified the area/dynamic, then highlighted some creative action points to implement. This process has built in impetus, as once targeted, an action can be fine- tuned while being practiced.

There is great power in being held in a non-judgemental space while naming your fears and so-called failings. Each person in the group is witness to your challenges and shares joyfully in your triumphs. The collective energy grows stronger over time, and my fellow participants have become my chosen family, part of my chosen ‘tribe’.

For the third meeting in this particular cycle we were invited to view the dynamic that we had chosen to work with as if we were living in a closed box, with a limited pattern of thinking and feeling, relative to the circumstances of our life.

In order to transcend feeling stuck or limited, we were invited to think of the two most masterful people we knew (living or not) at a mental and emotional level, who could bring their clarity and focus to the situation to get you Out of the Box. Were there any necessary steps to take to implement these ideas or strategies?

Finally, we were invited to find five different approaches to the things that had been restricted, limited or stuck – approaches out of the box, out of the current mental and emotional context in which we had been functioning. These we would be sharing with our group.

What a valuable and interesting process!

I came away with more ideas than I thought possible, because they were presented from a place outside my usual standpoint, out of my usual box. This coming month will be rich with possibilities, and I so look forward to our next call together, to share in my group’s growth, humour and positive energy.

If you are interested in finding out more about The Creative Field, or would like to join a Small Group, click on the live link.

Expect to function Out of the Box you have been confined in!

 

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Fear of Change

Fear of Change stops Transformation

Fear of Change stops Transformation

Fear: painful emotion caused by impending danger or evil, state of alarm

Change: alteration; substitution of one for another, variety

(The Concise Oxford Dictionary)

During the past week I have seen two very different situations that have brought me to consider the Fear of Change, experienced both by others and myself.

In the first instance, I was visiting a person in the community who had engaged in an exercise program to promote balance and lower limb strength – the aim of which is to improve older peoples’ mobility and confidence so that they can safely live in their own homes independently.

Many of the elderly people I visit still live in the family homes where they raised their children, where they have experienced trials, tribulations, triumphs and great joy. The homes in which they have lived full and rich lives. Some are now alone, their partner having died or separated years ago. Their walls are adorned with family portraits and photos spanning generations, and memorabilia precious to them. Some homes are light and airy, others stuffy with curtains drawn. The homes take on the personalities of their owners and occupants.

Community Health workers may be the only external people to enter some homes, especially if the client does not have family living close by or friends who visit regularly. It is both a responsibility, and a privilege, not to be treated lightly.

This particular person lives alone, has multiple medical conditions and no family living in our city. It was clear to me that she was not managing the considerable upkeep of her large family home and her own health and well being, and I had been wondering how to be of best assistance to her, within the scope of my practice.

Her fear of change intervened.

At my most recent appointment she met me at the door, and told me she would not be inviting me inside, as she believed I had criticized her home – the home that her husband built for her and where she had lived all her married life.

She elaborated that she would live in her home for the rest of her life and that no-one would be able to force her out so long as she was coping.

I had not criticized her home. I had agreed with her when she had mentioned that there were mice in her lounge which she could not be rid of. She took my agreement as criticism, and must have then felt fear that I would set some actions in motion that could force her to accept help, or worse, present her with the notion that she would need to consider more manageable living arrangements.

Her Fear of Change caused her to reject beneficial action: the exercise program to help her stay in her own home!

The other circumstance is that of a friend going through a relationship break up. Raw emotions of grief and disbelief, if-only scenarios, wishing it were different. The shared home lovingly transformed over the years has now been sold. The garden is coming into its full summer glory, almost making a mockery of the hours spent visioning and planting. A new house has been bought, and awaits some loving attention. A new future beckons, with new opportunities for joy, for self-expression. Yet still there is the tug, the pulling backwards into what was. “I am scared of change. I want what is familiar”.

The Fear of Change holds us back, yet again.

“The events that transform us are usually not the things we would choose. As someone said, we never want to go through what we need to go through to become what we want to become.” Andrew Matthews – Follow Your Heart.

Reflecting on these two situations I am left pondering where I am allowing the Fear of Change to influence my own decision making. Only by letting go of the shore will my boat have the freedom to sail!

What Fear is holding you back from Change?

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Lessons from Live Love Laugh

Live Love Laugh through Life Lessons

Live Love Laugh through Life Lessons

Dayle Hunt is a Life Mechanic and he aims to tune your internal Ferrari to reach peak performance. I attended his inaugural one-man show Live Love Laugh, where he combines personal stories of life lessons with humour and humility.

He maintains that we have six basic Human Needs which need to be fulfilled for us to live a meaningful life. He combined stories and anecdotes to illustrate how we go about meeting our individual needs to have certainty, variety, significance, love and connection, growth and contribution in our lives.

It seemed that one hour was way too short a time to settle in and fully engage with his three personas who occupied the stage in their turn.

Interestingly, for me I guess, my own enjoyment of the evening was marred by the disruptive presence of the young person who sat in the seat behind me. She repeatedly kicked the back of my chair violently, causing the whole row of seats to reverberate, and the man seated in front of me to cast annoyed looks in my direction. Then she explosively crushed her empty plastic cup in my ear. Then she sat with her feet dangling over the back of the empty seat next to me, and proceeded to kick that too.

I had accepted an invitation to Live Love Laugh, and I found myself then pondering whether this young person was actually displaying the effects of NOT having her basic needs met.

  • Certainty. Had her parents explained that they were attending a public performance where she would be required to sit peacefully for an hour during the performance. Had they outlined the expected format of the evening and told her more or less what she could expect to happen? Were there boundaries in place, should she not behave in an acceptable manner? Are her parents consistent with their discipline? How was her need for Certainty met?
  • Variety. If the young person in question was attending a live theatre event, no doubt she has attended many other social outings. School, friends’ parties, family gatherings. Perhaps she was just not enamoured with her current set of circumstances – perhaps she had wanted to be somewhere else, doing something of her own choosing.
  • Significance. Her presence behind me became significant, for all the wrong reasons! I was annoyed, distracted and then heart sore – because I did not want to be frustrated by a child. Her disruptive behaviour made her significant to others that were distracted, and perhaps also to her parents who may have felt annoyed or embarrassed that they needed to ask her to desist. How did her behaviour make her feel significant?
  • Love and Connection. If she had been my own child or grandchild, how could I have strengthened her feeling of being loved and connected? Perhaps I could have invited her to sit in my lap.
  • Growth. Perhaps this was a first ever attendance of a live event for our young person. I am hoping there would be many other opportunities for her to have wonderful experiences – and that she will grow into a sociable and friendly young woman.
  • Contribution. By just being herself, she has contributed to my learning, to my experience. It is up to me to determine the value of the contribution.

I am left pondering the evening. Dayle Hunt and Live Love Laugh will take you to many places. The familiar, the funny, the unexpected, the unexplored corners in your heart. Which brings me to ask:

How have you dealt with the disruptive seat-kicker? Please share your comments with me, so that I can keep learning!

 

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